• Difficulty - Food - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    Two months now.

    December 27, 2017 - By 

    And now, two months. I can understand the italian on the train, on the street. The bartender last night told me that I spoke very well…and then I answered him and messed up my pronouns — as if to prove him wrong. We have had family arrive…teeny apartment now teenier. We are playing tour guides to our kin, providing train cards to all. Had a big test in class. Big one. Disappointing but so much progress and so far to go. Such a big thing to try to adjust my expectations of myself. Always having been an “A” student, realizing…

  • Blessings - Food - For fun. - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    Doppelgängers & cream.

    December 6, 2017 - By 

    It is my first time in England. Me, who called our rabbit King George because he thought he was the boss of everyone. I have so many small observations — so I am just gonna lay them here. On Doppelgängers:  There is a doppelgänger here for almost every person I know back in the States.     Are you all Brits from back in the day? The Tate Modern museum in London is named for the guy who invented cubed sugar.  Ain’t never gonna see sugar cubes again without thinking of the Tate Modern and how R couldn’t wait to…

  • Light

    In the dark

    November 25, 2017 - By 

    — in buio. It was just as we were warming the oven when the lights went out. Darn, no dinner. R flipped the breakers on and off and on and off again — nothing. Just flipping nothing. Flipping nothing. Che cazzo. So — no laundry and no dinner and no internet to even use whatsapp to message the landlord — so damn, gotta turn on the network and tell him: uh. We have no power. Again. Nothing. We are in the dark. Pitch black. Nothing helping. He said “I will send a guy to help you but you gotta go…

  • Light

    Scuola

    November 13, 2017 - By 

    Today was my first day of school. Of course, I woke up a bit disoriented…did I bring my placement test?  Una penna?  Will I get there on time? R feeling a bit off so it is just me venturing out today.  To get to my school I walk along the Naviglio Pavese — with its dinner boats, its dark water.   Lots of biciclette and I walk all the way to the left so as not to get run down.   It’s about a sixteen-minute walk to my school. I am trying to breathe the whole way. When I find the…

  • Being Human - For fun. - Hope - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    Siamo arrivati.

    November 8, 2017 - By 

    Allora…so…siamo arrivati. We have arrived. Today is Day Numero 6. When we arrived, at first, I was sure, absolutely sure that I was fine.  I am fine.  I am functioning.  I slept (un po’) on the plane…so…fine.   We took a MyTaxi from MXP to our apartment in the Navigli (canals) district.   We found the apartment.  We opened the door. Dark.  Reeking of cigarettes. I will have to adjust, I thought.   Next I thought: What the devil did we do?   (or WTAF if you want me to use my full expression of our language…) We will be…

  • Being Human - Blessings - Darkness - Difficulty - Family - Fear - Hope - Light - Loss - Safety - This really happened.

    The Fire and the Roses

    September 14, 2017 - By 

    Eleven years ago we were getting ready to leave the house for the first seder at Jane’s house. Russ was just finishing the mowing of the lawn, our table was set with china and crystal for the next evening at our house. I heard a crackling sound coming from the kitchen. I knew that I wasn’t cooking that evening…so as I entered the kitchen I saw about a foot of smoke undulating at the ceiling above the door to the garage. I went outside and found the wall between the house and the garage aflame. Quick-thinker that I am, I…

  • Being Human - Family - For fun. - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    But oh, the ice fields!

    June 1, 2017 - By 

    Among the adventures I have always wanted but never told was to be here, where I am. When we drove up we saw elk and moose and snow on the peaks.  This, of course, ridiculous because I am so relieved that at home things are finally green and blooming and spring….but the snow on the mountains still makes me go “ahhhhhhh”. After yesterday’s odd restaurant encounter we decided to try the evening at the hot springs….and it turns out that I am old and fussier than I used to be about germs….and now I understand that I am truly a…

  • Being Human - Difficulty - Light - messages - Travelling

    Scaffolding.

    May 10, 2017 - By 

    I love the scaffolding. The scaffolding. I love in the city to see scaffolding against a building. I love to duck under scaffolding to go into a store to score some tea. To window shop. Scaffolding is a reminder that the city is always changing. It is always becoming. Like me. I am not just an ancient grey building but I am rebuilding, renovating. I am being remade every day. I let you all know this by stenciling on my walls Post No Bills. Like the city, I am changing but I endure. At times I need the scaffolding. I…

  • Blessings - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    The Taxi-Driver’s Tale.

    April 9, 2017 - By 

    When the taxi arrived the driver was anxious to share with me that he was from Lebanon – and that his mother died three years ago. He told me that she died alone, in a dark room, hastened by the neglect of his sisters and this, he would never forget. He wanted me to know that he believed in Karma. That he believed in Kindness. He said that with Karma there is no guarantee that things will come back to you…”but you never know,” he said. I wouldn’t say that he was the most careful driver, weaving a bit between…

  • Light

    The F Word

    March 4, 2016 - By 

    Years ago, I thought that motherhood would mean long afternoons having picnics, gazing at the shapes of clouds with my children and daydreaming.   Then at night, I though we would go outside in our pajamas, hold hands and gaze up at the magic of the stars. I have since discovered, and as you probably already know, it’s a bit more complicated than that. There are scientists who say that we are made of stardust.   The selfsame stuff that makes up stars composes our cells, our bones and our very breath.   All that has ever shone – all that has been…

  • Being Human - Difficulty - Light

    Arms Akimbo

    June 9, 2015 - By 

    Today I was Wonder Woman. I woke up early and stood, arms akimbo, fists on my hips, next to my bed. My chest was out, my chin was up.  I was ready. I went to the grocery store.  I bought a cantaloupe and some rhubarb. Success. Best day of the week, so far. Last night L told me the story of a woman whose life presented such significant challenges that in order to keep up her own spirits she would adopt the Wonder Woman stance, fists on her hips, chest out, chin up and arms akimbo — before she proceeded…

  • Blessings - Childhood - Family - Hope - Light - Loss - Safety

    The Gathering and The Safety of the Burrito

    May 9, 2015 - By 

    I woke to a dream where I was on the street in twilight. With my little child.   A son or a daughter, perhaps. The sky was losing light. The day had been long. It was much too late to be out with such a baby – it was time to be home. But this one had their arms up in the air and was crying, “book, book”. “up, up.” We were outside the library. Its doors closed to the day. “Book, book”. They cried. There was the memory and allure of story time – a part of a perfect morning…

  • Being Human - Blessings - Darkness - Difficulty - Hope - Light - Safety - This really happened. - Travelling

    The Lost Mariners and Almost Missing Maui

    April 26, 2015 - By 

    I heard the most amazing story. There was a cruise ship – and a Greek captain – and two mariners. And some passengers. But I think the star of this story is a thing that is not on any map. More on that later. There is a cruise ship – and it is sailing North towards Hawaii. One morning one passenger gets up early, as he loves to do on these trips. He gets up at five – and consults the map.   He finds that the ship is not headed North at all. It has done an about-face…..it is heading South.…