• Being Human - Fear - Food - Hope - Light

    The emotional-support pumpkin (soup)

    I saw a video in the early hours of this day – around the time of the blood moon eclipse – of a dog who had fallen in love with a small pumpkin at the pumpkin patch.  He carried that little pumpkin around – cuddled with it, nurtured it, slept with it. It was his “emotional-support pumpkin”. Today is the midterm elections.  There is quite a lot of energy associated with today. Mostly I have been laying low. Preparing for the apocalypse. Ha. Today is also the anniversary of the death of my father. A few weeks’ ago R and I had…

  • Being Human - Darkness - Difficulty - Family - Fear - Food - Hope - This really happened.

    When Life Gives You COVID, make Lemon Cake

    (Episode 27, Breathing Out Stars Podcast) Before I begin I want to say a thing about carrying on. It is said that at the top of every mountain is the base of the next mountain. This is a super important lesson for us to get – that when we finish something, accomplish something, we are not done…it is just time to start the next thing. When I reached 25 episodes it was a lovely benchmark. A milestone. Not an easy thing in a difficult time. But rather than resting on my laurels I sat down immediately and began episode 26.…

  • Blessings - Food - For fun. - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    Doing what Romans do.

    We were in this country for so very long before we made it down to Roma.   So many other things were pressing…so many other places were closer. And yet I felt the draw of Rome.   Allora — siamo andati a Roma. We went to Rome. Another surprise…on our way from the train station to our hotel I was very moved by the very fact of being a Roma.   I cannot even explain it. Non posso proprio.  I just can’t.  But so many feelings.  Of all types. Of course we ate good food — we went twice to…

  • Difficulty - Food - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    Two months now.

    And now, two months. I can understand the italian on the train, on the street. The bartender last night told me that I spoke very well…and then I answered him and messed up my pronouns — as if to prove him wrong. We have had family arrive…teeny apartment now teenier. We are playing tour guides to our kin, providing train cards to all. Had a big test in class. Big one. Disappointing but so much progress and so far to go. Such a big thing to try to adjust my expectations of myself. Always having been an “A” student, realizing…

  • Blessings - Food - For fun. - Light - This really happened. - Travelling

    Doppelgängers & cream.

    It is my first time in England. Me, who called our rabbit King George because he thought he was the boss of everyone. I have so many small observations — so I am just gonna lay them here. On Doppelgängers:  There is a doppelgänger here for almost every person I know back in the States.     Are you all Brits from back in the day? The Tate Modern museum in London is named for the guy who invented cubed sugar.  Ain’t never gonna see sugar cubes again without thinking of the Tate Modern and how R couldn’t wait to…

  • Being Human - Differences - Family - Food - This really happened. - Travelling

    The Canadian Ukrainian.

    It was late afternoon and we hadn’t eaten since early morning.   We were driving the TransCanadian highway and came to Canmore. We were super starving. Oh, I said, pointing….let’s eat at that place. The building was golden yellow which is sometimes a good idea and there was parking. And outside — a jackhammer.   Like a machine gun…but with more concrete dust. We walked into the restaurant.    Also yellow.     Oilcloth table covers and green chairs.    The owner was trying to drown out the jackhammer by playing loud music:  “sexual healing”. The white board advertised Bison…

  • Being Human - Food - Hope - Uncategorized

    “Everything is pretty”.

    Once someone came to my dinner table and pronounced “everything is pretty”. I suppose that they might have been referring to candles or food or plates or napkins or setting sun or warmth or, or…. Any one of many things which might seem pretty to one or not-quite-noticed by another. Everything was pretty. Apparently. I cannot for the life of me get those words out of my head.  Now a few years later I think ‘everything is pretty, everything is pretty’.  It is not pretty in my world because I need to make everything pretty but because it is just…

  • Food - For fun.

    Fifty shades of glitter…oooooo it’s snow good…

    It was a dark and snowy night and I was elbow deep in disco dust. It seems that there is seduction in sweets.   Not the diabetic coma that follows indulgence– but the colors and the shine and the sparkle of the processed cane – it’s so freaking shiny. My new thrill is touching it.   Not one pinch passes over my lips – it’s fine chemistry between me and a cupcake.   Not to eat, no no no. But to color. But to caress. And oh, oh, oh, I want to sugar sext. As I cream the buttercream I am fondling the…

  • Food - Travelling

    Madrid ‘sin gluten’… Celicioso!

    People seem to want to give me cake. Now I don’t want you to misunderstand. I like cake, truly I do. In fact, I love it. Cake always makes me think that it is my birthday and that it is ‘all about me’which I am foolish enough to believe, even now. Perhaps it is the chemistry that I like in cake: adding dry ingredients to wet and then something to create a lift and heat — and well, that sort of begins to sound like one of my hair appointments…. But ah, I digress. For a long time it has…