• Being Human - Fear - Travelling

    Call Me Sudsy Malone.

    October 21, 2014 - By 

    Usually this time of year — as the darkening begins – I feel myself beginning to withdraw. Although I do realize that this is the normal time of year for melancholy, I find myself spending a little more time at home, sorting out closets, cleaning drawers, etc. I have come to realize that I have SAD: Shampoo Accumulation Disorder. My life is abundant. I am wholly blessed with teeny little bottles of personal cleaning products. My illness began years ago, when we were students. Back in the time when the call of “Free Pizza” could tempt us from three counties…

  • Being Human - Fear - Hope

    I am not afraid of Hell.

    October 3, 2014 - By 

    If the worst thing we can be is to not be ourselves; If our greatest sin is despair… If Dante could describe two souls in Purgatory as doves — then he has not yet decided that they are guilty. If beauty can move us to tears… If we are, none of us, perfect — and we all understand that none of us are… Then we are, ultimately, all together. And as for the fire and brimstone….I, for one, will be okay. Because I have marshmallows.

  • Being Human - Darkness - Family - Fear - Hope - Light - Loss

    Fishing & The Hospital Bed

    September 20, 2014 - By 

    Yesterday they brought a hospital bed into my father’s house Of course, in the past few weeks he has been declining and now he doesn’t have the strength to get up. But he did try, anyway. And of course, he fell. Dad has always been so independent…wanted to do things his way….so now he is being offered containment. With high rails on the sides, it is his worst nightmare:: a hospital bed. The guys from hospice took apart his own bed–the same one that I crawled into when I was young and had nightmares. The same bed where I slept…

  • Being Human - Childhood - Fear - Hope - Safety

    We’d like to put you in a home.

    August 19, 2014 - By 

    When I was a little girl, I always thought I would live near Chicago. It had never, in fact, occurred to me that any one of us might leave. But then, for me, there was California and then Missouri – Georgia and now Wisconsin. Finding a home and making a home has become very important to me. It might be also for many people. My friend’s nine-year old daughter continued to look at houses on zillow.com, for hours at a time– for three months after they had already moved. Was she still looking for a place to belong? A hundred…

  • Being Human - Fear - Hope

    “Is this all there is?”

    August 13, 2014 - By 

    Two years before my father died, he was refusing medical treatment. At that time it became increasingly apparent that if he did not choose treatment soon, his passing would be very soon after. It had not been very much time — perhaps only a year — since his own mother had died, just before her 103rd birthday. So there we were, in the hospital.   My father said to me “why didn’t I have 103 years?” And then: “Is this all there is??” To me, this was the most spectacular question I had ever heard — not to mention the…

  • Childhood - Darkness - Fear - Light - Safety

    The Worst Thing That Could Happen

    August 4, 2014 - By 

    When I was a little girl living near Chicago, I imagined that the worst thing that could happen would be if a tornado hit my school. Several times during the school year our principal would get on the loudspeaker and announced “Operation Ajax” — which meant that we would line up at the door and proceed into the hallway where there were no windows — sitting against the walls with our heads between our knees — our arms protecting our necks against potential flying glass. As it happened, my school was never actually hit by a tornado. A few years…

  • Childhood - Darkness - Fear - Hope

    Perspective and Innocence

    August 1, 2014 - By 

      Three days ago this happened: There is a family in Tel Aviv…many families in Tel Aviv…who go to the shelters with their children when the alarms sound. This family has two little boys — ages 4 and 7. One night this week the air sirens sounded. The family hurried to the shelter. It was 2:30 am. The sleepy 7 year-old said to his mom: “ema, which army do you like better…which army do you want to win”? Well, this young mother didn’t honestly know how to answer. How does one explain to a little boy about death and war…